Pinky Pie

The Royal Wedding & Me, Part 1

Posted on: April 28, 2011

The official website of the official royal wedding,

I have finally found a reason to be excited about the Royal Wedding. It’s not that I’m against young love. I did stay up to watch the celebration of the forever love of Charles and Diana.

But I’m excited about the wedding because for 24 hours – give or take the six-hour time difference between La Crosse and London – we will not have to hear lies about Barack Obama’s place of birth.  And as a bonus we won’t have to hear a word from Donald Trump.

I just hope for a long ceremony and even longer reception. As a writer, I would be happy to pad Prince Harry’s speech as best man.

My husband is a musician. He could suggest additional songs for the reception. Hell, bring over his band, Muddy Flats and the Hepcats. It will add class to the event. Oh wait, they’re booked for the Freight House this weekend.

What else can be done?

Bill Clinton is known to give long speeches. I’m sure he would be willing to say a few ten thousands of words.

Celebrate diversity by including a tradition from each of the ethnic groups in Britain.A chair dance would be entertaining, along with the hora after William breaks the glass under the chupah.

Other ideas for stretching out the big event?

  • Extra desserts beyond plum puddings?
  • A reading or two from Dickens?
  • Have the groom and bridge shove cake in each other’s mouth, even though that is not traditionally done in Britain.
  • The women can throw those big beautiful hats up in the air and then trade up for something even more beautiful. If necessary, the owner of the very best hat can fight to get hers back.
  • Finger painting and then cleanup.
  • Opening of the gifts at the reception, followed by writing the thank you notes.
  • Discussions about which Beatle is your favorite.
  • Mud slinging – oh wait that would be the cable news networks 24/7 every other day.

What are your ideas folks? How can we stretch this wedding?

Send your suggestions – quickly – to

If we all work together, we can make this thing last for days.


1 Response to "The Royal Wedding & Me, Part 1"

what’s the longest shakespeare play? hmm . . .

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