The Perfect Gift & Me
Posted December 1, 2010on:
This ad on Facebook amused the heck out of me: Six Million Dollar Man box set includes all 100 episodes. Perfect gift for the holidays. Order Now.
For whom is every episode of the Six Million Dollar Man the perfect gift? I decided to Google “perfect gift,” which brought me to www.gifts.com and a little tool called “Shop with Personality.”
I decided to check it out for someone very near and dear to my heart – me. (I didn’t want anyone in my family to feel jealous that I didn’t pick him or her.)
“Go!” it says and so I did.
First up is a graphic of outlines of various people, images that remind me of what those body scanners show in airports. I’m sure gifts.com would not be amused by my comparison. Which figure closely applies to me? A baby? A boy? A girl? A teen? Adult? A dog? A cat?
I chose a female woman, which leads me to a difficult question. I know I’m not a young adult, but am I in the 35+ category or senior? Ego or honesty? Look at the bodies for the various women. Which one would I want to represent me?
I select 35+, which would more accurately be 35 ++++++.
Selected questions for the 35+ women include:
- Does she prefer from a well-known designer or a talented local artisan/jeweler? I don’t prefer jewelry. But I’ll click the talented local artisan/jeweler.
- Pretty lip colors or no-nonsense lip balm? I go with the lip balm.
- Is her perfect getaway a charming lake house or a stylish hotel? I don’t camp and I don’t go with the stylish hotel, although I prefer a place that when you pull down the sheets you don’t find it swarming with ants. That happened once. Needless to say, we switched rooms.
- In the morning you’ll find her scanning the latest headlines or making lunches for the gang. Headlines for me.
- On the weekend, you’ll find her strolling through the farmer’s market or chauffeuring her kids to their latest game. Clearly I’m too old for this category. I’ll pick the farmers market but in Wisconsin in December?
- She likes to relax by communing with nature or diving into a good book? A book.
The screen displays, “Gone shopping,” returning within a minute with suggestions for this wonderful person: an interesting jewelry holder, Bangles that make a statement, Converse shoes that I can design and personalize myself, Craft Bibles for Creative Ladies and Too Cool For Shoes Penny Loafers.
Not quite right for me, perhaps it is time to go with “to thy own self be true.” In other words, I should go with the old lady questions:
- Her idea of socializing is lunch with friends or colleagues or cruising with families? I’ll go with lunch with friends.
- On her coffee table you’ll find Living, Architectural Digest and Metropolitan Home or Redbook, Family Circle or Good Housekeeping.
- A big night out would involve an evening at the theater or attending the grandkids recitals. I’ll pick the grandkids, even though I don’t have any.
- She can’t live without her garden or her library? Library.
- She likes to entertain her friends or her brain? I said friends, but it’s probably both.
- She’s always writing invitations and place cards or writing in her journal. Journal; I’m writing a blog aren’t I?
“Gone Shopping” reappeared and then suggestions like the Kindle, Top Documentaries on DVD, Gifts for NPR lovers, Gifts for Crossword Puzzle Lovers, Tea Of The Month Club and BookSwim, which is a Netflix-like service for book rentals.
These do seem more me-like.
In our family, we choose one person to “spoil” at the holidays. This year at Thanksgiving I set it up with my name on all of the sheets of paper. I had us all say whom we picked at once. Funny, they all got Sue.
It was a moment of amusement before the actual drawing. My son-in-law Mike pulled my name that time.
So Mike, if you are reading this, you’re welcome. So are all of you who I’m sure are eager to shop for me this holiday season.