Pinky Pie

Cleanliness is next to godliness & Me

Posted on: June 10, 2010

Dirt beware; I'm ready for action.

Dirt beware! I'm ready for action.

Now, this is debatable.

Most of my friends and family would suggest I’m a fer piece from godliness, perhaps not even in the same county. Ok, I’m in La Crosse and godliness is in Cleveland.

But there I was Wednesday night at a home party for environmentally-safe home cleaning products called Norwex Enviro Products. Yes, and I bought things. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Norwex model is like Tupperware. You gather a bunch of women around and a consultant demonstrates the products and over refreshments we buy away.

Before the demonstrations, we went around the room and identified ourselves, described our favorite products if we have used the products before and the toughest areas to clean in our homes. A bunch of women had been at several parties before.

A couple women – and it was all women – said their entire house was their problem. They probably didn’t mean it. I could tell. I would mean it.

When it was my turn, I said, “Hi, my name is Sue and I’m a slob.”

Someone suggested it was like an AA meeting, although I’m afraid that I’ll never go cold turkey on dirt.

I did suggest that my bathroom was the worst and I was interested in the self-propelled cleaning items. I admitted I tend to buy a lot of stuff that apparently don’t work if you don’t use them. Who knew?

The point of these Norwex products is that they clean easily and are safer than the stuff I’ve been buying. With water alone, they are supposed to kill bacteria, fungi, yeast and viruses. There is also this cleaning paste that helps to get rid of stuff, too.

So I watched consultant Kay Hillesheim do demonstrations and was somewhat impressed. But the house we were in would never be dirty. Never, ever.

I had heard from the hostess that she would be happy if everyone just bought dryer balls to get us off dryer sheets, which have carcinogenic properties. I’d like to get rid of stuff causing cancer, but I suppose that would be the entire world.

The dryer balls bounce around in the dryer making the clothes soft, fluffy and chemical-free. Dryer sheets apparently have stuff that coat our clothes.

It was so hard for the consultant to find places to clean in this house that she had to open the inside of the fireplace to find dirty glass.

She also demonstrated a mopping system that she told us is the last one we would ever buy. It doesn’t use chemicals – just a dry microfiber mop pad that pulls the loose dry dirt up, which you shake out outside. Then you use a pad moistened only with water. It seems very easy.

So I decided to buy two sets of the dryer balls (I will buy a third for Michael if he and Jenny are interested) plus some microfiber cloths with silver particles integrated into them that are supposed to kill off that nasty stuff.

I did a little cleaning on the tile in my bathroom last night after I got home and it definitely seems to help.

As the consultant was figuring out my total, I tried a cloth that was specifically for optical glass, meaning eyeglasses and camera lenses. Out of my mouth popped, “I was once getting a pap smear when the doctor looked up and commented about how dirty my glasses were. He then cleaned them with surgical soap.”

It’s true and I apparently told it with such a straight face that they cracked up. A couple friends were amazed they had not heard that story before.

I didn’t think that much of it. Don’t all women get their glasses cleaned at the doctor’s office? Apparently not.

A friend asked how I got my glasses cleaned before. They gasped when I said, “my dad.” It’s true. He used to go around the house cleaning eyeglasses at night.

The visit to the gynecologist was later in college.

The hostess asked, “Have you told that story to Maggie and Michael?”

When I said no, she responded, “Don’t tell them.”

By the way, I signed up to be a hostess at a Norwex party in August. The good news is she’ll find plenty of places to clean. Several of my friends said they would not miss it for the world. You are all invited.


2 Responses to "Cleanliness is next to godliness & Me"

You are too funny – she found plenty of dirt! Maybe you should send a “depend” with each invitation, so your guests are well prepared – remember last evening Sue almost had an accident!

sue, you are precious! as is you gynecologist. Looking forward to August and your clean house… Mine too… talk soon!

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