Pinky Pie

Coming out of my cocoon & Me

Posted on: January 18, 2010

Don't scare this little girl, please.

You’ll have to excuse me if I’m been absent the last few months. I’ve been, frankly, hiding. I’ve been hiding from  sneezes, coughs, and the stuff they leave behind.

Yes, since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I’ve been looking over my glasses and over my shoulder to see if anyone or anything was after me – mostly of the microscopic variety.

When I was little, I hid under the covers with the sheets up to my eyes. I never had my back to my bedroom door, for fear I might be attacked by any sorted of evildoers: the Boogie Man, a monster under my bed or in my closet, or from my camp days, The Weef. No matter how many times, I heard that spooky Camp Taum Sauk story, I still jumped every time the Weef supposedly grabbed at me.

I never did see any of those creatures, but that of course did not mean they weren’t there.

So during chemotherapy especially, I lay low and avoided crowds (I decided what number made a crowd). I knew you or they were out there – trying to make me sick with those winter ailments.

And, I wanted nothing to delay my treatments. I think I may have noted this before, but I kind of wanted chemotherapy over.

So each day, as my blood counts get better, I’ve re-entering the world a little more, although still avoiding situations where a bunch of people are crowded shoulder to shoulder.  Sadly, I missed the funeral of two older men I cared about in the Jewish community in La Crosse.

With radiation – assuming the insurance company  approves it soon – I should not have the same immune system worries as I did with chemotherapy.

I had my first reminder of how fun the world was at a brunch on New Year’s Day. I thought this event would be a little more manageable than a huge New Year’s Eve party.

But I suggested to my husband that we stay for only an hour at the brunch. He agreed. We’d just put in an appearance. Who knew talking to people in person could be fun? We stayed more than two hours.

Other re-entry steps include going to my lunch group on Friday and on Sunday to a book group.

I’m feeling bold because I didn’t get sick during the chemo days, other than the assorted infected toes. That tells me I am strong and getting stronger.

And I’m back to walking about three miles a day, mostly at the mall.

So world, I’m coming back. Here’s hoping you want me back.


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