Pinky Pie

Who knew? I’m a cultural icon

Posted on: September 4, 2009

Yesterday was a teary day. My emotions were right on the edge. Alright, the truth is they spilled over, but I’m OK. Really, I am OK  now that I figured out how I’m a cultural icon in myself.

First let me say, I was teary eyed as I watched this message spread over Facebook yesterday. I don’t know who started it but it really explains the reality of the health care  drama. Even those who are conservative had this as their status statement on Facebook:

“[name of person] … thinks that no one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.”

Many, many people did this. And I had tears in my eyes every time I saw it. This had nothing to do with me and everything to do with me. I did not start it but it gets down to the essentials.

Also, yesterday I learned when I’ll get my port and start chemotherapy – September 23 – Maggie’s birthday. But as she said, “It’s the start of treatment that will allow you to be there for many future birthdays.”

What really wiped me out yesterday was I had bought this device to attach to my television that would immediately stream Netflix movies, etc. The setup did not go well and in talking with tech support something happened to my television (an old big butt one) that I totally lost the picture. I completely lost it. I mean I had the biggest cry over a TV. Clearly, I had misplaced my emotions.

But this wonderful young man from Wettstein’s in La Crosse came out and fixed the picture on the old TV  which has this switcher box with all sorts of stuff plugged into it like the DVR, cable box, and who knows what else.

He did not try to talk me into buying a new TV  – worked diligently and kindly to calm this crazy woman down – but we’ll going to  a new, small flat screen TV today that fits onto the space we have in our little entertainment center. He will even set everything up as a kindness today.

I think a flat screen TV sums my body up right now more than the old big butt TV, although I must confess  I still have that, too.

So what is the cultural icon that is me? These thoughts came to me about the absurdity of crying over the TV instead of the cancer: “You can take away my breasts, but not my TV.”

And the image is of me sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair with the remote in my hand, saying, “You can take way my remote when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

Yes, I do watch TV. I may be a writer and read books but I watch TV. I especially thought when I’m down and out with chemo that I’ll watch old TV shows and movies. If I can get that device to work, it will be a heck of a lot easier.

In other words, don’t mess with my TV.

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2 Responses to "Who knew? I’m a cultural icon"

Pinky Pie–you just hit on one of the biggest clues to how humans work, imo. And, honestly, it’s not just my OPINION, it’s a whole load of scholarly work that I just happen to understand from my own life. Transferring your helplessness, your rage, your grief, etc. to your TV is how we humans in this stage of our evolution do it. We just can’t handle facing the fact that we are ALL gonna die and the way we’ve currently set up this lottery game of life, some of us leave the table feeling we have lost big time.

It’s just too much for human consciousness to deal with…(NOT talking specifically about you)…so, until we catch ourselves repeatedly transferring our feelings to, say, the TV, we won’t get it. But you got it and had your cry. Maybe next time you’ll transfer it to your toaster and have your cry. It’s OK. We are all scared to death…all the time…it is the rumble of the earth that we all tune out in order to construct an illusion of safety…hey, you said you liked Beckett!!!! Well, here she is…Samantha Beckett in the flesh…

You’ve mentioned Matt several times and I don’t know anything other than that he died young, leukemia apparently the cause. If/when you can tell this story, I am interested in hearing it. If it’s too painful, believe me, I understand…

You’re self-description as a flat screen TV is profoundly…something…I don’t know what…I’m not exactly laughing out loud, but I know PROFUNDITY when I…read it…

LOVE 2 U

We’ve never met, but I noticed you had read my blog, so I decided to check out yours. I also don’t know Maggie, but my daughter’s birthday is also Sept. 23 and so that caught my eye.

I had to laugh at your tv/butt comment — I suspect your wonderful sense of humor will accompany you throughout your upcoming treatment. I’ll send good thoughts your way — hope it helps you to know that lots of people, even strangers, are pulling for you.

Mary

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