Pinky Pie

Alfred and me (with photos)

Posted on: August 22, 2009

Alfred: My spiritual leader

I woke up at 6:30 this morning – a big improvement over 3:30 a.m. or 4:30 a.m. the previous days when angst – who needs an alarm rung me up.

Most mornings, I wake up with ideas in my head: some amusing, some terrifying and sometimes neutral. I rise at full throttle ready to take action on whatever is going on in my head. I’m not good with transitions. It’s zero to 60 in seconds.

That was the case yesterday when I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and started writing a diatribe about what is passing as health insurance debate. Thankfully, it will not see the light of day. Or at least not in the form I wrote it during the night. A lesson in life: never push publish when write anything in 3 or 4 in the morning.

But today I woke up thinking about Alfred E. Neuman, who is known for the following words of wisdom: What, Me Worry? It’s a way of life that I’d like to keep close to my bosom, so to speak. (You don’t need breasts to do that.)

But I have a few questions. How exactly does Mr. Neuman keep that smile on his face and, even more important, not worry? What is his secret and will he share it with the rest of us? (Or at least me? I’m feelling a little self-centered these days).

Of course, I’m going to go on the assumption that he does not have to worry about breast cancer unless there is a Mrs. Neuman or he is among the rare men to get breast cancer. The largest mitigating factor, however, is that Alfred E. Neuman is a comic character that the illustrator chose to draw in the pinkof health. (I had to find a way to sneak in pink.)

Still, I’m going to try to use Alfred as my role model — Cancer: What Me Worry?

How well do I expect to achieve this? Well, I am not the strong woman or comic character of the quality of Mr. Neuman.

I am counting on better living through chemistry: a little Xanax does a body good or at least this body good when the terror gets to me.

But then what do we know about Alfred E. Neuman, really? Perhaps he, too, is a friend of Xanax (on or off Facebook).

However, I just discovered that the current issue of Mad has a down and out Alfred holding a sign that says: “Will worry for food.” Yikes.

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