Seeking extra credit
Posted August 19, 2009on:
Please consider this my official application for extra credit. I don’t know to whom it is directed or if there are many applications ahead of me. Also I wouldn’t want my application to get in the way of those seeking spiritual assistance for free throws, home runs, field goals, heath insurance reform or finding peace in the world.
But come on. I have been a good citizen all my life; I have raised wonderful children who are the best part of my life’s resume because they are caring human beings. I have suffered through the loss of a child to leukemia without destroying myself or everyone around me. I helped my husband through rounds of heart procedures, although not as much as he is helping me now.
OK, I haven’t always been a nice person. Sometimes I’m just plain bitchy, including to my husband who does not need it. And, I said that terrible thing to Lisa U when were in elementary school that still bothers me. I haven’t seen her since high school or I would have apologized to her but 40 years later, what good is that?
But I do try to be kind to others mostly and care about people beyond myself. Really I do.
And even since this diagnosis of breast cancer, I’ve kept my sense of humor making more jokes per breast than the average person makes in a lifetime. Some are downright silly and others, shall we say, have metastized into dark humor. (That would be the only metastizing that I care to have.)
So I am asking for any extra credit that I might have earned in life to be applied now that I have gotten the pathology report for my tumor. It shows involvement with six lymph nodes and promotion to stage 3, grade A. There are positives in the estrogen and protestrogen receptibility and other stuff that my surgeon believes will make any remaining tumor susceptible to chemotherapy, but it also means I get to have body and CT scans to ensure my cancer has not spread beyond the breast and nodes. (Xanax is my friend.)
Stage. like age, is just a number, I keep trying to convince myself. With two nodes or six, the treatment will be nasty, brutal and not so short. I’ll learn more about that in a week or two.
Color of my nose today is partly pink with some black and blue mixed in.