Good grief. I’m writing today before my surgery?!
Posted August 12, 2009on:
OK, today I stand with Franklin Roosevelt. Surely, I will run out of iconic figures soon. But the president said, “All we have to fear is fear itself.”
Okay, I must admit that I am taking just a little agent to relax this morning, but over all I feel good. Now that goes against my usual character of being “the eternal pessimist.” I have traditionally braced myself for the worst. But somehow, once I knew for sure that I had breast cancer, that the waiting was over, I felt better. I was ready to get on with it. Now let’s see afterwards how chipper I feel.
There are a couple interesting notes that I’ll add. First, when I was a little girl, I was scared of everything. And I mean, everything. I was so afraid of the news that I would ask my parents to turn it off when it came on. Of course, that was the age when we were afraid the Russians were going to bomb us from Cuba. That of course is amusing, because the first ten years of my career were spent as a newspaper reporter. Apparently, I got over my fear of news.
But cancer, boy was I afraid of cancer. It didn’t help that I read the book, Death Be Not Proud, which a father wrote about his son’s death from a brain tumor. Some things a little girl should not read and let me tell you that was one.
Of course, most of you know that we lost a wonderful son to leukemia in 1986. That was scary and awful and sad and terrible. (I don’t think I need to add any more adjectives.) It didn’t make me any less afraid of cancer, let me tell you.
But now that cancer is here in me I somehow feel strong and funny and in for a wollup later today. But I don’t feel sick (they’ll take care of that at least for a while). By the way, if anyone knows how to spell wollup, kindly let me know.
Thanks to everyone for your support. I’m told I won’t be able to Twitter in the operating room. (Actually, I’m not very consistent with Twittering, so it’s not a problem. But not checking my email and Facebook, that is a problem.)