Pinky Pie

I announced Friday my special event on Sunday was going to be a “boobs-in situation.” That’s no relation to “The Situation” from the Jersey Shore program.

I thought I would look better in my dress with an endowment, even if  only adopted.

Yes, I was going to wear my breast prostheses for the first time in many, many months. The last time I tried was at my nephew’s wedding last October, but discovered the bra was higher than the dress. So much for that plan.

Items are smaller than they appear. This was a shot of me in 2010 trying on the Double or Triple D sized prostheses for a photo op. They are not what I bought and lost. And my hair is back.

When I was packing Saturday night for Sunday’s event, I looked and looked for my bras and “the ladies.” No luck.  Where were they? I don’t think I gave them away to Goodwill. If I did, someone sorting my clothes would have a shock of his or her life.

I actually have two sets of prostheses and three or four bras and couldn’t find any of them. It was only a problem because once I start looking for the missing, it’s hard to stop. But I did.

The truth be known, prostheses are surprisingly heavy and I’m guessing not so comfortable in hot weather.

It didn’t matter. I am what I am and am very comfortable with me  As I’ve said before, I am not my breasts (or lack of) and my breasts (or lack of) are not me.

And no one on Sunday even asked where “the ladies” were.